Missing Her

I watched a child's movie that reminded me of how she isn't around..
Of how it hurts that she's gone.
Im selfish for feeling this pain when I had multiple opportunities to be with her when she was here.
I beg others often to not wait till the moment is done for, do it now, feel it in your every bone and within your heart.
She loved me endlessly but I'll never hear her say it again.
I haven't cried in awhile and that angers me as if she's forgotten. 
I've tucked it all away so that I can continue living, how is that fair!
It's been over 4 years but the pain hasn't lessened any.
Is she watching over me? My children? She absolutely adored my husband. 
I wont leave this house because she set foot in it.
My heart holds on to every bit of her as if my life depended on it.
I miss her is an understatement.
We weren't prepared, ready, aware.
Can there be a do-over?  So I can tell her everything I held on to?
I miss you, she misses you, we could really use your laugh today.