Listen with the Intent to Help

"I want to talk to you about something"

We dread hearing those words from a friend, loved one.. from anyone really.  But if you've been on the other side of this conversation, you also have to get the nerve to say it to out loud.

Listen with the intent to help means just that.  When someone tells you how you may have hurt them, we tend to listen in order to fight back, defend ourselves and reject what the other may be saying.  Perhaps it's in our nature to defend ourselves, but what are we really defending?  Since when did we become so proud to assume we never hurt others?  

Our actions and words speak volumes.  So listen with the intent to help because one day, you may be on the other side of this conversation.

I've been on both sides and it is extremely hard to say those words as it is to hear them.  But until you've been on both sides as well, this may be a hard lesson for you to learn and that's ok.  

I've hurt others, whether I knew of it or not.  Though each time I learned of my poor actions, I listened and apologized because whether or not I thought the other side was irrational or possibly over sensitive.. the fact that I hurt them and made them sad was enough for me to put aside my assumptions and help.  

We're all different.  We react differently.  We hear the same story but gather different meanings from it.  

Mend a broken heart by simply listening, understanding and offering help. Be genuine and own up. Broken hearts create huge gaps in our lives, distances grow and we fall apart.

Listen with the intent to help.

Yet..

Every year I'm so proud of you,
Yet every year I get a bit sadder.

You're blossoming into beautiful children,
Yet you're drifting away a bit.

No longer babies,
Yet forever in my heart you will be.

School has started, you're talking now, writing, running, laughing.
Yet I try to protect you as if you're still a fragile newborn.

I'm grateful for our giggles, playtime and bond.
Yet I dislike that one day you'll leave.

Growing up looks amazing on you.
Yet I'll always miss you being this little.

You make me so happy being so independent.
Yet I cannot fathom the thought of you not needing me one day.

Letting your child go

Where do I begin?
If I start to let him go now, where does it end?
Yes he comes back, but is it the old him?
I'm not prepared to let my heart and soul just walk around and engage with others.
Tell me it gets easier.
Tell me I'm just being a mom who's sending her first born to school and it gets better..

Missing Her

I watched a child's movie that reminded me of how she isn't around..
Of how it hurts that she's gone.
Im selfish for feeling this pain when I had multiple opportunities to be with her when she was here.
I beg others often to not wait till the moment is done for, do it now, feel it in your every bone and within your heart.
She loved me endlessly but I'll never hear her say it again.
I haven't cried in awhile and that angers me as if she's forgotten. 
I've tucked it all away so that I can continue living, how is that fair!
It's been over 4 years but the pain hasn't lessened any.
Is she watching over me? My children? She absolutely adored my husband. 
I wont leave this house because she set foot in it.
My heart holds on to every bit of her as if my life depended on it.
I miss her is an understatement.
We weren't prepared, ready, aware.
Can there be a do-over?  So I can tell her everything I held on to?
I miss you, she misses you, we could really use your laugh today.

Sweet little cheeks

Those sweet little cheeks will change your life.

Whether they're wet from crying or sticky from breakfast, they are simply perfect.
They make the world a better place and they can also bring you to your boiling point.
Them cheeks are super soft, super loveable.

My how they've changed my every day look on life.  The world doesn't revolve around me or the smallest silliest issues anymore.  I worry about the best diapers to the funnest toys all the way to providing them with the best education. 

This mama bear may not look her best (at any point), but my God do they look like spotless models for Carter's.  The focus is on them and we love it.  These sweet cheeks happen to be our everything, our world, hearts and souls.

Sometimes I don't know

Some days I just don't know..
I don't know how I do what I do.
I don't know if I'll be able to do it all over again tomorrow.
I don't always have the answers to my own questions, let alone to others'.
I'm unsure of what I need to say to make it all better.
Will it ever get better?
Do miracles really happen?
Am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing?
I just don't know.

Unsure of how I feel and why I feel that way.
Unsure of myself most days, but I wing it.
Am I allowed to be tired?
Or tired of being in pain every day?
Or maybe even to be upset when things can clearly be worse?
I just don't know.

I'm thankful, blessed and annoyed.
I shouldn't be complaining, I tell myself.
I shouldn't be a lot of things, but here I am, killing it.
Is it ok that I don't know?

A tough week

I've been MIA for a couple of days.
I'm struggling to stay upbeat.
I'm finding it hard to smile.
It's been a rough week.

I need help, time, to be more patient, to see the good in things, to calm down.
Life is testing me and I feel that I'm failing.
It's been a rough week.

Losing hope, sleep, myself and loved ones.
The tears no longer help so I keep searching.
The search for answers, for a break, for good news, for anything at all is just a black hole.
It's been a rough week.

Let me be..
I'm breaking, hopeless and emptying quickly.
Let me be..
Miserable, unappreciative, weak and bitter.

...It's been a rough week...